Godly Wrath
by yesimahuman
Summary: In the old myths, it was a very bad idea to anger the gods. This rule holds true to this day. Poseidon, god of the sea, was about to teach this mortal exactly how bad of an idea it was. Hades could only marvel at his brother. Rated for gore.


A/N: This was inspired by a little comment on a tvtropes page. You may need to read 'What Thankless Work' to understand some references.

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Godly Wrath

"G…g…," Hades muttered, walking down a hallway. Poseidon followed close behind, wincing occasionally at the Underworld's unique décor.

"He's in here," Hades announced, stopping by a cell door. Hades placed his finger on a scanner, and the door hissed open.

"Daedalus has been very useful," he explained, walking into the cell. "I'll have to thank the heroes someday for finally managing to bring him here."

Poseidon nodded, observing the scene before him. It wasn't very pretty. A man screamed in pain, his eyes riveted towards a burning book. In didn't seem as if the horrific burns on his hands were causing him the pain, however. The man tried to turn away from the book, but his neck kept snapping into place with a painful crunch every time he did. His eyes refused to blink, yet the dust in the air did not seem to be the primary source of the man's pain.

"Make it stop," the man muttered, sobbing. "Please, please, make it stop."

"Apollo has been busy," Poseidon muttered, waving his hand. A fine barrier separated the two gods and the man, drowning out his sobs. Poseidon snapped his finger a second time and the man slumped into an unconscious heap.

"Indeed," Hades concurred. "My Furies were quite pleased with the 'quality' of the latest batch of fanfiction. Now then, about the cost…"

Poseidon raised an eyebrow. "Cost?" he inquired.

"Why, yes," Hades replied, a smug smile creeping onto his face. "What made you think I would allow you to take one of my souls for free?"

"I'm only borrowing him," Poseidon protested. He reached a hand into his pocket and drew out a bag of drachmas. "Here's fifty-"

"I control all the minerals in the world," Hades scoffed. "I'm not interested in _drachmas_."

"Then what _are_ you interested in?" Poseidon asked, exasperated.

Hades looked Poseidon in the eye. "Fanfiction," he said. "I want fifty stories so horrible that even my Furies won't be able to stand them. Take Apollo's job for a week and I'm sure you'll find more than plenty to satisfy me."

Poseidon paled. "Brother, I'm _sure _we can reach a compromise-"

A flash of light momentarily blinded both of the two Gods. "I agree with Lord Hades," Apollo interrupted. "I really, really, do. Please, Uncle Poseidon?"

Poseidon observed the crinkles around Apollo's eyes and the pleading note in his voice. He sighed.

"Fine, Hades," he muttered. "Apollo, for the love of Zeus, go on vacation."

"Yes!" Apollo shouted, pumping his fist, before disappearing in a flash of light.

"This is going to suck, isn't it, brother?" Poseidon asked. Hades gave a quick nod in the affirmative.

"Well, here you go," Hades said. "One soul, straight from the fine Fields of Punishment, fed with absolute delicacies which are _never _treated with magic, and sent out to writhe in pain for my amusement once every fifteen years."

"Brother, that statement is disturbing on several levels."

Hades shrugged. "Fair enough. Please leave my house."

Poseidon and the man vanished in a puff of seafoam.

----

Gabe Ugliano had never liked fish.

As a dish, they smelled funny and tasted bad. When in water, their eyes always seemed to stare at him, as if accusing him.

Gabe Ugliano didn't know why the fish seemed to hate him so much. He was a perfectly normal, law abiding citizen.

He was just an asshole extraordinaire who fucked around with the _wrong_ mortal, and by association, the _wrong _god.

In the last moments of his life, Gabe Ugliano had undergone considerable surprise. After all, snake hair was not supposed to be possible. Works of literature that horrendous weren't supposed to be possible, either, but he found himself being forced to read entire volumes of it after his death. And now he found himself in a rather nice palace. Of course, the fact that he was naked detracted from his appreciation of the interior decoration. The shark (which was really just a rather large, vicious, fish) that swam in the waters over which he was being dangled was also a rather unnecessary distraction.

Gabe Ugliano was a sobbing wreck within five seconds after regaining consciousness.

"Do you know who I am?"

Gabe Ugliano did not enjoy being confronted with the supernatural. He was a weak man, with a weak mind, and the supernatural tended to seize that mind by the shoulders and beat it repeatedly with a very large stick.

Poseidon's figure, fifteen feet tall, reduced Gabe Ugliano into something that could no longer be called a "man." A new noun must be coined in order to describe what Gabe Ugliano had become upon witnessing Poseidon, garbed in full battle armor, trident in hand. Perhaps he shall be christened an "Ugliano." Gabe Ugliano was reduced to an Ugliano when Poseidon, god of the sea, arrived.

"Please don't kill me, please don't kill me, please don't kill me-"

"You're already dead, you know," Poseidon said. "The only way to 'kill' you even _further _would be to cast you into the pits of Tartarus, but I won't do that. I doubt father would enjoy the company, and that says something."

"My God!" Gabe screamed in terror. "Who are you?!"

"Because you are dead, however," Poseidon continued, ignoring Gabe. "I can kill you all over again."

Poseidon snapped his fingers. The great white shark leapt out of the water and tore off Gabe's legs. Blood spurted into the water, coloring it crimson.

Throughout his life, there were very few sections of Gabe's brain that were not occupied with certain tasks. In the underworld, those tasks were processing the fanfiction. While alive, they were acquiring bean dip and more ways to torture his wife and stepson.

Now Gabe Ugliano's brain was processing the immense pain that accompanied his bifurcation. It was not a pleasant task. However, like the Little Engine that thought that it could, Gabe Ugliano's brain managed to sputter out three queries: who the fuck was this man, why the fuck could he order around sharks, and how the fuck he was still alive.

Shortly after presenting these questions to a brain that was still far too occupied by pain to formulate a coherent response, any sections of Gabe Ugliano's brain that vaguely resembled a human being shut down. They were replaced by the more primal sections of an already _very _primal brain. These sections processed activities such as fight or flight, and the sex drive- though Gabe Ugliano had no more sex drive, as his penis had been devoured by a great white shark.

His fight or flight mechanism then proceeded to scream at his body to get the fuck out of the palace. His body responded by twitching rather pathetically.

Poseidon decided in that instant that a week of fanfiction was worth it.

"What was the name of your wife?" Poseidon asked, rather quietly.

"W-what?" Gabe sobbed.

Poseidon hefted his trident. "You are a mortal, are you not?" he shouted. "Do you speak _English_?"

Gabe nodded in horror, bobbing his head like a toy.

"Then answer me, you insect!" Poseidon roared.

"W-what?"

Poseidon's trident, forged by the telekhines, was his most prized possession. It had slain the monster Typhon. It was the symbol of his power. To use it against a mortal- a mortal such as Gabe Ugliano, of all people- seemed to overly insult the beautiful weapon.

Then again, as the trident was Poseidon's symbol of power, it packed the most punch- and Poseidon certainly did not want to spare Gabe Ugliano the experience of feeling _exactly _how bad an idea it was to piss off a god.

Poseidon hurled the trident through the air, spearing Gabe's torso. He proceeded to cross the distance between the two of them in one booming step.

"The gods of the ancient myths," he snarled, "were not nice people. We are _still _not very nice people. When you angered a God, they would _punish you_. You have _especially _angered me, and as such, I have seen it fit to take your punishment into my own hands."

"Sally Jackson was a _queen-_ a _goddess- _among you mortals. Her son carries my blood in his veins. To have you in their presence was a grave insult to the very air that they breathed. To have you _strike _Sally Jackson was an offense so great that the punishment that I am handing to you is _nothing_."

Poseidon grabbed the handle of his trident and yanked it sideways, tearing Gabe's body out of the chains. Flicking his wrist, he cast the body into the water.

Sammy the shark dined well that night.

When Poseidon returned Gabe Ugliano to Hades, the god of the dead took one look at what was being returned to him and decided three things: that he did _not _want to see how the soul of Gabe Ugliano would regenerate, that he did _not _want to know what Gabe Ugliano had did to anger Poseidon, and that he would _never _look at his brother the same way again.

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Review, please.

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